I thought you might have some insight into MJ's possible gender conflicts. It seems to me that a reasonable conjecture might be that MJ used surgery the same way some cross dressers use female clothes. That would make him a homosexual cross surgery-getter. He may have been trying to look like Liz Taylor, but what could have been going on in his head? His basic dress was flamboyant, but not female, yet his face after all the surgeries was doing some weird act of its own. What did MJ think of his own appearance and did it play a role in his sexuality or gender identity? I think the female face may have had a glamorous Mommy appeal to him, and may have been sexual. I think the face was not part of a gender orientation issue although it is female. He seems to me to be a gay male with no gender issues in permanent surgical drag. Maybe.

Finding out that our friend was a pedophile was very hard, and deciding what to do was pure torture. He had been our friend for many years and we had a lot in common (not the pedophilia).He was sick and needed help and dangerous to kids. He was part of a group of returnees to Stuff's old country when the Communists fell and old aristocrats got their family properties back. In our group, some people knew about Louis (not real name) and some didn't. Stuff knew from the beginning, but couldn't tell on such a close friend, especially knowing that he too, as a gay, was subject to who knows what nasty treatment if his secret were generally known. Eastern Europe was not very liberated for gays at that time.

I learned about Louis' pedophilia later, and I agonized. I warned the mother of the girl whom he raped, but she was not interested in help. The mother and her daughter needed the money. I confronted Louis gently, and offered to try to get help for him. He overwhelmed me with talk of how middle class I was, how intolerant, how I really ought to try sex with children because it would add energy, joy, spontaneity, and fun to my life, how all of our friends except me did it (not true, one did), how cheap it was. Finally, I could not risk Stuff's welfare, and decided not to risk my membership in this group of wonderful friends. Another factor in my decision was that I didn't trust the police in this country. I did nothing. Right or wrong? I don't know. It was a terrible decision to have to make. My friend had a serious problem, but I couldn't solve it. And I knew he would continue to create new victims. He eventually was stopped. He moved to another country, changed his name, and probably is doing exactly as before.

Since Stuff died and, ironically, our best friend in the group also died, I no longer have much contact with the remains of the group. I am now married to a Georgian and live in another country.