In theory, every adjective can be nounified into a Loch Ness Monster (LNM). And since there is an overpaid bum in Harvard by the name of Michael Porter who holds a professorship in "Competitiveness", one better watch out for bumptious Loch Ness Monsters being walked with dog leads by "Nessprofs" in the North American copycat City of Cambridge.

Recently, I had occasion to ridicule an article on competitiveness by Belinda Stronach, daughter of Magna magnate Frank Stronach. Essentially I re-wrote her article to replace every "adjectiveness" LNM with a simpler but more carefully (i.e. accurately) chosen English noun. The outcome was a conclusion quite opposite to the one Ms. Stronach's Porteresque article had drawn.

Interdependent individuality is far more satisfying than Loch Ness Monstering every adjective in the Encyclopedia Britannica. LNMing eventuates in being pulled around on the lead by which one has to restrain one's LNM invention from pooping on everyone's doorstep.

At the time I did my number on Belinda Stronach she was Federal MP for Aurora in Ontario. Not very long afterward she resigned to fight breast cancer and a little while later she returned to her father's firm, where I imagine she will live happily ever after.