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| Re: Yes! Let's try to be partners! -- Remi | Post Reply |  |
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Posted by: Angus Cunningham 11/12/2009, 08:18:12  (About author)
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Remi, offering Angus some personal observations and feelings in response to a paragraph in Angus' post: "You seem in this paragraph to display an unusual degree of distrust and suspicion of the hidden motives of your partner. I feel unhappy when I think you could be so distrustful and suspicious. I think that we should always be aware of the possibility that the other person is trying to deceive us, but I favor giving the benefit of doubt freely unless strong evidence emerges that makes such a policy unworkable. So -- what do you say? Angus: "Do I hear your discomfort in the sensing of my suspicion of DWA's motive(s) in manifesting his inability to comply with your preference for this thread to be one of exchange between you and me, undistracted as far as possible, by comments from others?" I notice today that I put the word "your" in front of the word "discomfort" and observe that it would be unnecessary did I not then have some pre-conscious sense that the discomfort I believe I was hearing might not be yours. Would you be willing to respond with an "IHXEN because ......." or perhaps more than one "IHXEN because .....,"? I ask this because, in my coaching practice, this form of response, whether asked by me or of me, deepens the sense in both partners that the other is valuing authentic IHXENs as a tool supportive of genuine communication. Alternatively, if you should prefer not to employ an IHXEN in your response, you would have an opportunity to say why, which would then allow us to refine the principles whereby the IHXEN linguistic structure is most constructively used to build trust and shared insight.  |
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