...The "Report"...

...The "Report"...
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Posted by: Lamplighter
07/20/2005, 11:49:58

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...I seen 'em ossifer!
They's a'comin over thet barn yander -way, with their danged bright
lights a'shinin' somethin' fierce!
...Me an' my lady here, Bertha,...say Hi to the nice ossifer,Bertha...
was jest fixin' to open our bottle of Mad-Dog 20/20, an' have our-
selves a reglar odi-ol good-ol time, " chuckle-chuckle", he! he!..
snort!...fart..oh!...'scuse me!...
When , all at once, thar it was!
...A-snakin' and a-jerkin' about the hen yard!
...We raise "free-range" chickins here, ossifer,an' thar ain't
none better anywhur,I can tell you that!
...Anyways, ...
...I think it was ol' "Hardy," the bull what reacted first.
...He just rose up outta his straw and bellowed like he was
sober again!
...'Course that ain't happened since he first got aholt of
some a Granpa's hooch a few years ago!...
...Ol' Hardy jest kicked out the side of the barn, and
run up that hill, yonder,with his tail 'tween his hind legs!
...Then, I seen it fer myself.
...It was a 2005 Lexus, driven by a local farmer with a smile
on his face, and it had a very large sign stuck to it's
sides...about whur the danged doors should be, a-say'n:
..."George W.Bush for President"!
...Well, ossifer, you can either take this down, or count me
among those veteran winos who will never drink again:
"My fella Amuricans, I have a Dream!"...
..." I am on my own property, yes ossifer!"
...Oh,Lord,...if you will jest grant me one more wish for the
rest of my life, please let it be that no more George W. Bush
visions haunt my reverie!
..."Mad-Dog 20/20", is jest getting too hard to come by!
...And nightmares should not be allowed to tarnish it's essense!